1、These words help me remember why embracing my essence is always the best thing to do. Perhaps this may resonate with where you are.
2、All too often, women are in a hurry. We want to hurry up and find THE GUY, get married, have babies, buy a house, etc. We don't enjoy the seasons of life we are in.
3、I am taking this time to reflect on my single days in writing a letter to my single self. I want to remind her of a few things.
4、So it's a Monday night, you have your wine, Twitter is open and you are live-tweeting The Bachelor thinking to yourself, "Where is my rose" Let me tell you, Neely, once you are married, these Bachelor nights will not look much different. Only instead of wine, you'll be eating dinner with your husband, still live-tweeting.
5、Anyway, Single Neely, enjoy this time. Not because it's better than marriage — trust me, marriage is better. But enjoy it because you should be appreciating time with yourself and learning who you are. Go out with your friends more. Do all the happy hours, drink all the wines, and flirt with the cute waiter. Why Because WHY NOT!
6、When that guy ghosts you after three great dates, it stings. You think, What did I do wrong Trust me — it's him. He has issues that he will feel the need to share with you three years later. Sigh. Men.
7、When you and He Who Shall Not Be Named go back and forth, up and down, and hot and cold, just shake your head, nod and smile and know that "This too shall pass." You'll end it when you've REALLY had enough, and thank God you did.
8、Remember your favorite episode of How I Met Your Mother, Remember what Stella says to Ted: "I know that you are tired of waiting, and you may have to wait a little while more, but she's on her way, Ted. And she's getting here as fast as she can." That quote is so true. Replay it over and over and over. Just sub in "she" for "he" and "Ted" for "Neely." You get it!
9、Girl, you are single; one day you will look back, and even though you are beyond happily married, you will remember the boozy brunches, marathon shopping sessions, random road trips, and late nights spent on the phone with your best friend talking about nothing.
10、Now, your husband comes first. You think of his needs, his wants, his TV shows （mostly yours still）， the foods he wants to eat, and what you two will do together every weekend. It's wonderful and magical and you wouldn't trade it for the world. But don't be in such a hurry to let go of your single self too soon.
11、i have in my hands two boxes which god gave me to hold. he said, ”put all your sarrows in the black box,and all your joys in the gold.” i heeded his words, and in the two boxes both my joys and sarrows i stored.
12、but though the gold became heavier each day, the black was as light as before. with curiosity, i opened the black: i wanted to find out why. and i saw, in the base of the box, a hole which my sorrows had fallen out by.
13、We've all heard the quote, 'Be Kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.'
14、My husband and son died within two years of each other. From my personal experience, I believe that if we aren't careful, grief can become a rather self-involved process in which we can become so focused on our own suffering that we miss the opportunity to connect with, and possibly bring comfort to, someone else who may be going through a similar experience.
15、Six months after my husband died, I was sinking in the quicksand of grief. I could not pull myself out of the misery.
16、In that moment, I actually believed that my life was more difficult than anyone else around me. Life handed me a perfectly wrapped lesson that opened my eyes to the fact that through my suffering I had allowed myself to become blinded by my self-pity.
17、The lesson presented itself in a health crisis. I had complications from a surgical procedure and ended up being hospitalized for four days. I was in an extreme amount of pain during this time. Between the physical pain and the emotional pain of grief, I was an absolute mess.
18、Our character, basically, is a composite of our habits. “Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny,” the maxim goes.
19、Habits are powerful factors in our lives. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character and produce our effectiveness or ineffectiveness.
20、As Horace Mann, the great educator, once said, “Habits are like a cable. We weave a strand of it everyday and soon it cannot be broken.” I personally do not agree with the last part of his expression. I know habits can be learned and unlearned. But I also know it isn't a quick fix. It involves a process and a tremendous commitment.
21、Those of us who watched the lunar voyage of Apollo 11 were transfixed as we saw the first men walk on the moon and return to earth. But to get there, those astronauts literally had to break out of the tremendous gravity pull of the earth. More energy was spent in the first few minutes of lift, in the first few miles of travel, than was used over the next several days to travel half a million miles.
22、Habits, too, have tremendous gravity pull more than most people realize or would admit. Breaking deeply imbedded habitual tendencies such as procrastination, impatience, criticalness, or selfishness that violate basic principles of human effectiveness involves more than a little willpower and a few minor changes in our lives. “Lift off” takes a tremendous effort, but once we break out of the gravity pull, our freedom takes on a whole new dimension.
23、Like any natural force, gravity pull can work with us or against us. The gravity pull of some of our habits may currently be keeping us from going where we want to go. But it is also gravity pull that keeps our world together, that keeps the planets in their orbits and our universe in order. It is a powerful force, and if we use it effectively, we can use the gravity pull of habit to create the cohesiveness and order necessary to establish effectiveness in our lives.
24、I should also tell you that I am a Registered Nurse. As a nurse, it is hard to be on the receiving end of medicine as the patient.
25、The first three nights that I was in the hospital, the same nurse took care of me. She was young, maybe in her mid to late 20s, and she hardly interacted with me at all the first two nights, other than to give my medications as scheduled. She obviously had no idea how much emotional pain I was in. How hard is it to ask your patient how she's feeling I wrote her off as a bad nurse who had little empathy, and remained absorbed in my own emotional and physical pain.
26、The third night the young nurse was a little more talkative. She asked me how I was feeling （finally!）。 I told her that I was struggling with depression and grief because my husband had died in an airplane accident.
27、She looked at me and told me that her husband had died too, just two months earlier. I was stunned. Speechless. Shocked.
Never, in any of the possibilities that my mind entertained of why this nurse was so stand-offish with me, did I even consider that she might be in the same pain I was. Not only was she grieving as I was, but she was having to take care of me, instead of caring for herself and her family.
28、We went on to talk and share our stories about our late husbands and children. I like to think that we helped each other a bit that night.
29、We had much more in common than I would have believed. We were both widowed single moms with young children, and nurses. But, that was where the similarities ended. Her husband had no insurance policy. She had very little family support. She was working paycheck to paycheck to support her boys. I was humbled. I realized how much I had to be grateful for. And, frankly, I never saw life the same way after this experience.
30、This experience was a life-changing event for me. I had always prided myself on being an empathetic person, but I realize now that I had not really understood what being empathetic meant.